Motherhood and photography

This blog comes from several conversations or things I have heard over the past couple of days. I am going to try and articulate.

When I am asked how I see myself, (as in terms of artist) I say 'a mother with a camera' quite a lot. It's a bit tongue in cheek, but it is also true. Just over ten years ago I couldn't envisage any of this. I was telling my friend's mum just yesterday that before I had children I wasn't the slightest bit maternal. I was married 8 years before we had our son and even during pregnancy I was in a state of denial. I was absolutely terrified of having a child. I can see why too. I was never really told about how much you love them and how painful the love you feel can be. How you become more attached and aware of your own childhood, how you see their vulnerability and how you are constantly wanting to protect them.

Several years ago we went on holiday abroad and had a villa. During the night we had an intruder. I woke up and my husband & I chased him out. The children always sleep with us when we are somewhere new or strange. I never really sleep well now. The fear I felt was indescribable .. they are blissfully unaware.

I had a lovely comment on the above image the other day, in which he wrote:

"Love the way you work as an artist with the driving power of motherly love"

And I thought, yes, that is it. My work is about their childhood, my childhood but more powerfully about me, as a mother with a camera. I don't just photograph what I see but what I feel, my love, my fear & our vulnerability and our life.